WOW. So a lot of ground has been covered. I'll just jump right in.
In March, my Invitae results came back, I was 100% clear of all Genetic Disorders. There was a few other labs that the fertility doctor ran also, and that's where the big bomb was dropped. The "short & sweet" version is that my Cancer history & the related Radiation obliterated my eggs. Essentially, I will kick out a "shell" of an egg, but there's either no yolk, or what is there, is fried.
This makes perfect sense and completely correlates with my history. So the next conversation with my fertility doc was incredibly hard. I had to accept the fact that we would need to us a Donor Egg if we were to go any further. Not gonna lie, I was a bit devastated and it took weeks for me to accept and process. When I was confiding in my Preceptor, she immediately ... I mean without any hesitation ... volunteered to give me eggs. Like, before I could even really finish explaining how everything went down. I'm still a bit shocked that she selflessly offered without even blinking. She's.... completely amazing.
There was a couple months of waiting, mostly for her first available doctor appointment being 1.5 months out - which put us into the 2nd week of May. During that time, I had been sent a bunch of information about process, financing, & links to Egg Donor Banks online... so curiosity got the better of me and I poked around and researched more while I was adjusting to this being My New Reality.
Meanwhile, with my preceptor, a lot of peripheral things were happening at the same time. She ended up being injured in a car wreck and actually needed surgery on her C-Spine. I started getting hesitant to put her through being overloaded with Hormone Meds while juggling pain meds from her surgery (and physical therapy, her short term disability, etc.) .... and I started being more open minded about using a Frozen Donor.
Significant Otter and I realized it would actually be cheaper to use a Frozen Donor than making my Preceptor go through a Fresh Cycle (cheaper, less invasive, and there is always the risk of a "dud" cycle). Plus, with a Frozen Egg, there is no need to sync cycles and it can happen whenever we choose (or only needing to accommodate my timeline). We talked about it, and I explained the latest details, and she (in her obviously still awesome way) was all about it and completely supportive.
So here we are. My 2 "Pre-Requisites" in order to move forward with a frozen donor, were (1) Have a current Mammogram... and (2) Have an "Egg Donor Recipient" Counseling Session (with Significant Otter).
I had my Mammogram earlier today (UHMM, hell yes to the person who canceled last minute and gave me their NEXT DAY appointment) and I have reached out to a Counselor about pricing and scheduling. Just waiting to hear back, it's the weekend (boo).
We have a Frozen Egg Donor selected. We have the finances all laid out. And lastly, we have the Loan all calculated (terms, APR%, rate, etc.) I just haven't hit the [SUBMIT] button yet. I will probably wait until after our Counseling Session to know when its GO-TIME.
T H E B R E A K D O W N$30,000. 72 months 8.39% = $530 /month.
- We are getting a $30,000.00 Loan.
This includes all sonograms, max medication costs, the Surgery Suite fees, etc.
- 2 IVF Cycles costs $10,000.00 (just under $5,000.00 each.)
A lot of banks do not sell per egg, luckily this one does.
- The Frozen Egg Bank costs $10,000.00 (4 eggs at $2,500 each)
Fertilization with ICSI, Cryo for remaning Embryos, PGT-A Testing, etc.
- And the Genetics Laboratory is approximately $10,000.00
At first, it seems insane.
At first, it seems so expensive.
At first, it is completely overwhelming.
Then.... I realize its no different than having an additional car payment in the household. An expensive car, yeah, but still manageable. And as a unit, we agreed that we weren't willing to go into an excessive amount of debt for this. There is no way we would ruin everything we've been working so hard to accomplish... for something that might never happen. From the get-go, I said 2 tries. Then, I got to crunching numbers (like I always do) and I found a way to make 2 tries happen.
We would do everything we could, while staying financially realistic.