One of the main reasons I signed up for the Elements Massage membership, was due to constant aches & pains which I know are related to work. Back at the beginning of this year, I went to the doctor, had a few prescriptions, and even tried some Sports Rehab/Physical Therapy for my back. My back is always sore and I know it's a result of my job. Moving patients that can't move on their own... and most of the time, they are not small or tiny or easy to move. The Sports Rehab that I was referred to (1) did not accept or (2) wasn't covered by insurance. Whatever the case, it was out-of-pocket and not cheap. We're talking at least $250.00 a session.
It's honestly why I was so eager to sign up for Pilates. Not because I wanted to be Boujie (even though my incredibly sarcastic self will play it up and let you think that) but it's honestly because I wanted to dedicate time and energy to working on my muscles and proper stretching in an attempt to help alleviate some of the discomfort I'm in all the time. This is exactly why I wanted to avoid the Jazzercise/Cardio bullshit and go with something with little-to-no impact on my joints.
"How about we fix the actual issue, and not just treat the symptoms."
On Wednesday of this past week, I showed up to work and the only thing on my board was a hold-over from the night shift. I had orders for a typical MVC related Pan Scan (office lingo for panning head to toe, aka scanning everything).
Luckily, Allison was hanging out with me for a bit because we were discussing the progress/status of a new hire that has been shadowing her all week. She stayed in the console room while I went to grab the patient.
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| My C-Spine |
Per standard protocol, I wheel him in the stretcher to our department, but on the way (and in his drunken stupor) he keeps asking where we're going despite my telling him numerous times. Once it finally clicks he starts ranting about how worthless the science is because it "completely missed" his broken ankle last time he had one (as he raises his leg and rotates his foot around, grilling me about if I can hear it popping and cracking). I try to make a joke and say "you should try pilates, it might stretch it out!" and I laugh. However, my joke only makes him become increasingly belligerent.
My general assessment of this patient led me to believe he would follow the simple instructions to "lay still" on the table in order to get the exam completed. However, he just kept getting more and more belligerent the entire time. I don't know if it's because he hated the fact the policeman was never letting him out of his sight (?) or the fact that I was instructing him to do things in a scenario/setting he didn't want to be in (?) or having to ask permission for simple everyday things, like going pee (?) or just fucking pissed about having to go to jail (?) all of the above (?)
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| My T-Spine |
So, I realized I'd have to restrain him, and I go back in to quickly rearrange my room to accommodate a scan for a patient in "restrained" position. Again, once he realizes that I'm strapping him in, he gets even more drunkenly pissed off. Now he's mouthing off with "OH YOU THINK YOUR GONNA FUCK WITH ME NOW BITCH??" The cop is telling him to knock the bullshit off, stop yelling, and to behave.
Like I said, we get mouthy, loud drunks all the time. They are generally just that: mouthy and loud. Harmless... but not violent.
With the dude still squirming all over the table, I tell Allison I'm gonna "hold" and she sits down at the console while I put on my Lead Vest & Skirt so I can stay in the room while the machine is scanning. I walked around to the backside of The Donut [the scanner] and his head is laying down in the head holder and he's looking up over his head at me and I talk to Allison over the microphone to go ahead and start - since technically his head is in the correct position. The table he's laying on starts moving with the scan and he starts yelling again, I tell him he needs to hold still and I go to hold his forehead in position. As soon as my fingers touch his skin, the dude completely snaps... like rips his arms up and out of the straps, reaches over his head, essentially bear hugs the fuck out of me, and pulls me into the machine and pins me against his chest and the scanner. I start screaming CALL SECURITY CALL SECURITY over and over and over... the policeman radios "BACK-UP, BACK-UP, BACK-UP!!" as he runs in the room, Allison kills the machine and hits our panic button the picks up the phone and calls security herself.. The dude had me in such a vice grip that the cop has to essentially choke the fucker out before he lets me go - and when he does, I get catapulted back out of the machine so hard I bust my ass on the way down.
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| My L-Spine |
So yeah, I got assaulted. Mauled by a drunk patient while I was at work. I don't have a lot of physical markings because of all the Lead I had on... that's a pretty thick buffer. Anyway, I spent the rest of the day writing out a Victim Statement, checking myself into the ER in order to get it all documented for court (I'm absolutely pressing charges) and for Workman's Comp, and turning in the reports to the Police Department.
Afterwards, once the police had hauled him off, everyone was like "Holy shit, are you okay? Are you hurt?!" and I'm like... "honestly... ask me in a couple hours, I have a lot of adrenaline going right now..." I was still visibly shaking and could hardly breathe. And yes.. later that day I felt like a friggin' Rickety Old Woman: I was sore all over, my ass hurt from when I landed on the floor, and my back ached - probably from tweaking it as I fell out of the machine.
So... about that Pilates class.... I'll definitely be needing it now.